I really love Sufism. Of all the spiritual, philosophical, and metaphysical currents I have encountered, I think Sufism speaks best about love. There are aspects of spiritual awakening that the Sufi masters understood better than anyone: that ultimate reality is love and that God is love.
I had long wanted to do a livestream about this, because many people do not speak English and much of the Sufi content I listen to is available only in English. So we read together, in the livestream, the rules of love attributed to Shams of Tabriz, and I commented on them one by one from my own experience.
Below I tell you what Sufism is, who Rumi and Shams were, the rules that recenter me whenever I lose my way, and, finally, about the whirling dervishes’ sema ceremony, which I saw in Konya.
What is Sufism?
Sufism is a mystical current born within Islam. But there are Sufis both within Islam and outside it. Sufism is often not very well understood. I see it this way: they are the masters who best understood love. There are entire generations of masters and students, transmission from guide to disciple.
I would say, with all respect, that it is more than a religion: it is a path of tolerance and love, which has never opposed those who believe differently. And listening to Sufis helps you grow spiritually. I have a Sufi playlist and a metaphysics playlist on my channel: I listen while painting, cooking, or in the evening at bedtime. It does not merely enter you — it works within you.
If you want to read some Sufi literature, besides Rumi I recommend ‘The Conference of the Birds’ by Farid al-Din Attar. All the concepts there resonate very accurately with me.
Rumi and Shams of Tabriz: an encounter that turned the world upside down
For me, Rumi is the greatest poet. His poem about the reed flute — The Reed, in English — fills me with shivers every time. You can find readings of his poems on YouTube.
Rumi held an important social and philosophical position, was well known and appreciated, and many people came to him. Shams of Tabriz was a seeker, a wandering dervish who had nothing to prove to anyone. When they met, Shams turned Rumi’s whole world upside down with his questions. Some say that when you meet a soul like this, you can talk and talk without stopping and never tire of it.
Then came suffering: Shams disappeared from Rumi’s life — tradition says he was killed — and Rumi’s pain was enormous. For me, this story is a lesson about love: it lifts you, but also breaks you, and light enters through the crack.
I feel a very personal connection to their story. Around the time of the livestream, I was packing for Konya, in Turkey — another spiritual journey. When you discover your past lives, going to those places is a gift: I feel I left pieces of my soul there.
The rules of love according to Shams of Tabriz
The rules we read in the livestream have circulated worldwide mainly through Elif Shafak’s novel, The Forty Rules of Love, where they are put into Shams’s mouth. I do not reproduce them verbatim here. In my own words, I tell you what I understand from them and what I have experienced with each. I have a video of them that I play from time to time — and each time I discover something new. They fill me with humility and immediately return me to my heart.
How you see God mirrors how you see yourself
The first rule says, in short, that your image of God reflects what you carry within. If God brings fear and guilt to mind, that means there is much fear and guilt inside you. If you see Him as full of love and compassion, you are like that too. This is very true.
The path to truth is the work of the heart, not the mind
The mind takes you only so far. You cannot be spiritual through the mind alone. Someone wrote to me that they saw images in meditation and still could not decipher them. I said: there is no need. Stop wanting to decipher them, and things will become clear on their own. The mind wants to understand, but what is above it cannot be understood through it. If you want to begin with simple steps, I have written about how to meditate: techniques, mantras, and colors.
God is not confined to a building: seek Him in the heart
Shams says God can be known through anything and anyone, and His dwelling is in the heart of the one who truly loves. Do this exercise: speak with God in your heart. It is a more advanced level, but at some point you succeed. I have even been overcome with tears while driving — tears of happiness.
Intelligence calculates; love takes risks
The mind is cautious, telling you not to go or act because it runs old patterns and lives in the past. Love says ‘go on’, even if it risks turning everything to ruins. But treasures lie hidden among ruins, and a broken heart hides treasures. Almost everyone who awakened spiritually went through very difficult things.
What cannot be said in words is said through silence
Many problems come from misunderstandings of language. In the realm of love, words are no longer enough. I, for example, do not give advice: I respect your soul’s path. When you constantly ask others for their opinions, especially when you are in trauma, you give them your power. All the answers are within you.
Loneliness or solitude?
Loneliness and solitude are different things. Solitude means being alone without feeling lonely. I have gone through stages when the field wanted me to be alone — and every time I was alone, I rose very high. The rule says that ultimately it is good to have someone who can be your mirror — not someone who loves you in place of loving yourself.
Do not enter the neighborhood of despair
Even when all doors seem closed, God will open a way for you. A Sufi is grateful not only for what they received, but also for what they were denied. If you have a little life experience, you know there were gifts in everything you were denied. If something does not happen, perhaps it is not meant to happen — insisting makes no sense. And a prayer from the heart, from the place where you cannot go on, never goes unheard.
Patience is not passive endurance
Patience means looking to the end of a process: seeing the thorn but also the rose, the night but also the dawn. I am naturally impatient, but I have learned that impatience can mean a lack of trust in God, ‘I do not deserve it’, frustration, or a need for control. Or simply not knowing the law of rhythm: wanting to harvest the wheat is pointless; it needs its time. Wanting the baby is pointless; it needs nine months. If something does not happen now, do not regret it: the soul knows, even if the mind does not yet know.
Beware of false teachers
An authentic spiritual master does not direct your attention towards themselves or demand submission and total admiration, but helps you see the light within you. True mentors are transparent like glass: they let God’s light pass through them. This applies to anyone who speaks to you about spirituality — including me.
Only love cleanses the heart
You can cleanse the body through fasting and abstinence. Only love cleanses the heart. When friction arises in everyday life, I have learned to ask myself: ‘Wait a moment, are you in love or in the mind?’ And if I have spent too many days in the mind, I return to my place of love. Nobody has emerged a winner from mental battles.
The devil is not outside
Everything you see around you, even the people you cannot stand, also exists within you in differing degrees. If you want to know yourself, look honestly and courageously at all your parts. That is why we worked in representations on the question ‘Which part of you attracts this?’ When a shadow part is brought into the light and you see it, many things dissolve.
Others love you as much as you love yourself
If you want others to treat you differently, first change how you treat yourself. The most you can be loved is as much as you love yourself. The most you can be respected is as much as you respect yourself. If you see that others do not respect you, look at where you do not respect yourself either. I wrote more about this in the article on the heart chakra, its signs, and how to open it.
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Take the first step yourself
Do not worry about where the road leads; concentrate on the first step. That is your responsibility. The wind can blow only into open sails: open your sails so God can help you. If you do not take the first step yourself, you tell the Universe you do not deserve or do not want it.
Words return to you: the 40-day exercise
We are all connected in an invisible network. Do not speak ill of anyone, even as a joke: what you say, good or bad, returns to you. That is the law of karma. When someone thinks badly of you and you respond in the same way, you enter a vicious circle.
The rule proposes an exercise that impressed me: for 40 days, think and say good things about that person. At the end, everything will be different because you will be different. I admit I did not carry it through to the end, but when I began, I felt the field shifting.
If 40 days seems too much, my version is: make a list of at least 40 qualities of the person who hurt you. The ego will squirm in every direction, but something shifts. Be careful: the exercise is about what releases within you, not about returning to someone who hurt you. If there was abuse, you do not need any contact with the person, and if the memories overwhelm you, work with a psychologist or psychotherapist.
If you are already in the dance, dance
Destiny does not mean everything is written in advance. You may not be able to change your instrument, but how well you play it depends only on you. Sometimes I too wonder what we are doing here. But if I am here anyway, I may as well play the game well. This quickly takes you out of any victim role.
We are all one
A Sufi, even when unfairly accused, does not argue with critics — because there is no ‘other’; there is a single Self. But be careful: this does not mean becoming a victim and swallowing everything. Change your own energy and remain standing; do not let yourself be trampled on.
A soft heart for solid faith
To have faith as strong as rock, the heart must be as soft as a feather. Through illness, loss, or fear, life teaches us to be gentler — or makes us harsher. We closed our hearts because of trauma, and when the heart is closed, light cannot enter. We must open our hearts. For those wanting to work on this with help from nature, I have collected essential oils for the heart chakra.
Be reborn in every moment
It is never too late to ask yourself: am I ready to change? With each breath you can be born again. The only way to be reborn in this life is to die before death — meaning to let the ego die. I also wrote about this in the article on ego and dissolving it in love.
A life without love has no value
The last rule I read in the livestream is also the most beautiful: do not ask which kind of love to seek, spiritual or worldly, divine or human. Love has no labels. It is simply love — the water of life. And the Universe moves differently when fire loves water.
Listen to the rules of love with me
I read and commented on the rules in the livestream below. I leave you with its vibrations — they are very high.
A small tip from the livestream: at one point I felt a burden trying to stop me speaking. I applied Mix Protecție and it resolved. When your vibration rises, you sense any energy that is not yours much sooner.
The sema ceremony and the whirling dervishes
I reached Konya, Rumi’s city, and posted on the channel a sema ceremony of the whirling dervishes: Dervish sema ceremony – Union with the Divine. In the recording, you see the round hall, musicians, dervishes in their tall felt hats, and people watching quietly.
So you know what you are watching: sema is the ceremony of the Mevlevi order, formed by Rumi’s disciples after his death. The dervishes’ whirling is not a show, but a form of prayer and remembrance of God — a journey of the soul towards the Divine and back towards people. If you watch it, do not view it through the mind. Let it work within you, respectfully, like anything sacred.
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Frequently asked questions about Sufism
What is Sufism?
Sufism is a mystical current born within Islam, with masters outside it too. For me, the Sufis are those who best understood that ultimate reality is love and that God is love. It is a path of tolerance, the heart, and a direct connection with the Divine.
Who was Shams of Tabriz?
Shams of Tabriz was a wandering dervish, Rumi’s spiritual master and friend. Their encounter completely changed Rumi’s life, and separation from Shams brought a pain from which much of his poetry was born.
What are the forty rules of love?
They are spiritual rules attributed to Shams of Tabriz, known mainly from Elif Shafak’s novel, The Forty Rules of Love. They speak of love, patience, trust in God, cleansing the heart, unity, and rebirth. In the livestream, I read and commented on them from my own experience.
What are the whirling dervishes and the sema ceremony?
The whirling dervishes are members of the Mevlevi order, associated with Rumi. Sema is their ceremony, in which whirling is a form of prayer and remembrance of God. I saw such a ceremony in Konya and posted it on the channel.
What practical exercise can I take from Shams’s rules?
The 40-day exercise: think and say good things about someone with whom you have a conflict. Or make a list of 40 of their qualities. If it concerns someone who abused you, no contact is needed, and support from a psychologist or psychotherapist may help.
All these rules resonate as true with me, from the heart. Listen to the Sufis — they understood. Sending you a kiss, and wishing you an evening full of love.
