Before the livestream about the inner child, I cried all day—I felt the field drawing together around this topic. Let me tell you straight away the most important thing I have learned in sessions and livestreams: there is no spiritual awakening, conscious manifestation or truly good life while your inner child remains wounded and forgotten somewhere behind you. With most clients, the first check is simple: is the inner child home? Everything starts there.
Below you will learn what the inner child is, the signs of a wounded one, where they remain stuck, and the exercises I use to heal them—step by step, gently.
What the inner child is
The inner child is the part of you that remained a child: it holds childhood emotions, memories and experiences. Jung said there is no true psychological maturation without working with the inner child—and I say the same thing: the inner child is the quickest gateway to the soul. The mind is simply so noisy that it is always speaking instead of the little one.
And something I want to set right from the start: the inner child is not only about wounds. They also carry joy, purity, spontaneity and unconditional love—they are the mirror of the soul. Jesus said that only those with a child's soul enter paradise. When you smile with your whole heart, without intending to, that is their smile.
The child who took everything upon themselves
Until the age of seven, parents are like gods to a child: they cannot conceive that a parent might harm them or be unavailable. So, to survive, they draw the only possible conclusion: ‘It is my fault; I am not good enough.’ This is how wounds of abandonment, rejection and betrayal are born.
You, the adult today, can give the harm back. The child could not—they cannot survive without their parents—so they took everything into their emotional body. That is why the most common programmes still run today: ‘I do not deserve’, ‘I do not love myself’, ‘I save everyone else’.
And remember: emotion is energy in motion —it wants to come out. When the child was silenced, the energy remained blocked in your energy body; and when you continually suppress what wants to come out, you overeat: the roll around your belly is anger, not a flaw. Do not hate your body—it carries everything.
Signs of a wounded inner child
- toxic or repeating relationships: if you keep attracting narcissists or distant people, your child is still in their wound. Codependency is there too—‘I will care for your inner child; perhaps you will care for mine’—nobody outside you can care for your inner child; the first step, detachment, is in the article about a former partner;
- many fears, especially fear of abandonment;
- self-sabotage: things go well and you lose everything; or when you fall in love, it is as if you ‘find yourself’;
- perfectionism, a constant need for validation and the inner critic judging you nonstop;
- anger that is easily triggered: people who explode quickly are, deep down, children who were not listened to;
- not knowing how to express your needs: from childhood you learned only ‘be quiet and endure’. The lump in your throat when you want to say what you feel is in the throat chakra area—see the guide to blocked chakras;
- ‘everything was fine for me’: if you remember almost nothing from childhood, that is a signal, not good news;
- feeling a burning pain when you see other people's children or wanting to save them all—in fact, we are always talking about ourselves.
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My story: the child in the orchard
I first connected with my inner child in a family constellation. She had stayed in the Republic of Moldova, aged 10, alone in an orchard with a book—I read so much because I was alone. It is the same with clients: a child left at three, five or ten—the age shows where the deepest wound is.
Then I brought her home, into my heart—and began smiling again. During the roughly ten years when I had lived only for career and money, very calculating, I had forgotten how to smile. After reconnecting, I discovered who I really am: an artist; I write and paint. I guarantee you: if you have not met your inner child, you do not know who you are. You were shaped specifically to receive love—and the true part of you never expressed itself again.
Where the inner child remains stuck
When I check, I simply ask you to close your eyes and let the little girl or boy come. You may see:
- the child ‘in a photograph’ —stuck, motionless. From a photograph, you cannot manifest a good life; for most people, the child steps out of the photograph in the very first session;
- the child ‘under concrete’ —layer upon layer of trauma over them; difficult cases require a therapist;
- the child who has gone away —left at the grandparents', in another town, at another age. Work gently until they come home, into the heart, where they belong.
Each time you connect, you may find them at different ages, with different aspects—that is normal: you return to the inner child in a spiral.
Exercises for inner child healing, step by step
1. Connect: hand on your heart
- Sit quietly, close your eyes and put your hand on your heart—it immediately anchors you in love.
- See the child: how old are they, where are they, what are they doing? Do not force the image.
- Feel the energy in your body. If you burp, yawn, cough or cry—that is perfect; the body is transmuting energies.
- Notice the activated area: the left is connected with the mother, the feminine; the right with the father, the masculine.
- If it is too intense, open your eyes, touch a real object and stay in your body—do not run from the energy, but do not immerse yourself without support.
2. Ask what they want
Take a sheet of paper, breathe deeply, connect and ask: ‘What do you want?’ Write spontaneously—the mind does not answer this question; the child does. For me, the answers were: playing, the forest, new friends, hide-and-seek, dancing, painting, resting. If they only want a hug—hug yourself. My younger daughter used to stroke her own little hand until she fell asleep; that is what a child who has not closed her heart does. You can also use tapping on the meridians (EFT)—it brings the answers out more easily.
3. Bring them home, into your heart
Do not take them by force—love cannot be forced. Stay beside them and say slowly:
‘I am sorry. I forgot you. But now I have found you.’
‘You are not abandoned, even though you were for a long time.’
‘I am the grown-up you, and from now on I will not abandon you again. I love you.’
If they do not come into your arms, say: ‘We are not rushing. I am staying here with you.’ Some children are sceptical—they have been betrayed so many times that they want actions, not words. When they accept the embrace, show them their home: from now on, their place is in your heart. Bring it to a close with ‘It is over.’
4. Release the old energy
A childhood wound is not healed by a partner, however wonderful they are. Holding the child in your arms, say to the blocked energy:
‘Thank you; you helped me survive. I am grateful to you. Now you can leave; I am no longer holding you here.’
‘I survived.’—that is gift number one; the other gifts come in the following days.
You can also work on salt—salt is not just for spells; it also works on the psychological side: stand with your bare soles on it, the child in your arms, and say ‘Let us put down everything that is not ours.’ And if you feel that the family field also carries energies placed there by others, not just wounds, see what you dream when someone has cast spells on you.
5. Recover a memory and reclaim your soul fragment
- Hand on your heart, go back in time and let a childhood event appear. Hold it in view.
- How old are you, where are you, who is around, what is the atmosphere, what did the child conclude?
- You, today's adult, go beside them. Now you can say ‘stop’ to the adult in the memory if necessary, and take the child away from there.
- Take them in your arms: ‘You are not alone any more. I am with you. It is over.’
- Create a bridge of light between your past self and your present self, and walk across it hand in hand into the present. See the soul fragment left there as a crystal: bring it into your heart and sit quietly until it integrates.
- Hug yourself at the end and feel the warmth: trauma feels cold in the body; love and wholeness feel warm.
We do not split hairs over the exact event: this is a part of you left in the past that can be brought home only through love. The mind will try to explain; you stay in love.
6. Hold a family council for decisions
For any decision, do not ask only the mind. Gather your inner family council: the mind, the heart, the soul and the inner child. Ask each one in turn—yes or no? Some decisions belong to the child, and then it is the child who must be listened to, not the mind.
7. Nurture them every day
The relationship is nurtured through small actions: five to fifteen minutes a day just for the two of you; an ice cream together—invite the little one too, as my psychologist taught me; a card game, drawing, a toy that resonates with you (psychologists have written books about this); when shopping, ask what they want and actually buy it for them; and when you play with your children, also care for your own inner child.
Discover the video course with guided meditations →
When they refuse, when they are angry, and when you cry so hard your heart breaks
It is very likely that, when you connect, the child will be angry with you: you are now thirty or fifty, while they were left behind alone. You betrayed yourself each time you chased love from others. In the end, it is not others who betray us: we betray only ourselves.
Anger is a stage in healing —it is energy, and energy can be alchemised. I turned mine into work and money, and sadness into painting. In one livestream, an inner child wanted only toy cars and tractors: ‘If you make everything play, everything works out—even money comes easily.’ Another said: ‘I am a Ferrari.’ But anger is not thrown at people, because that keeps you in the victim–aggressor–rescuer triangle; you turn it into something.
And do not leap straight to forgiveness! The child first needs you to acknowledge their suffering; only after they are seen and loved does forgiveness come by itself. As for crying: let it flow. Where the trauma is great, you cry as though someone has died—I too sobbed when I brought my inner child home. Tears wash the soul; afterwards your eyes shine. What comes out is no longer inside you.
The inner child and the family lineage: energies that are not yours
Not everything the inner child carries belongs to them. In a livestream, a woman had an energy on her face that ‘was not hers’: it belonged to her grandmother and had come over the granddaughter together with her suffering. We worked as we do with the family lineage: ‘It is not yours. Give it back to her, please.’ Then: ‘Through you, life reached me. I honour your suffering. I receive all your gifts and leave with you everything that is heavy.’ The child has no reason to carry the ancestors' suffering— their only task is to live their childhood.
This also involves the order within the lineage, as we see it in constellations: grandparents behind, parents in front of them, you in front of your parents, your inner child beside you. When roles are reversed—the child who ‘raises’ their parent—you simply say: ‘This is the correct order.’ And heaviness on the left side of the body or life points to the mother's line: old things need releasing there, sometimes from generations past. For this, I have prepared the Mother–Child release work and the complete set of releases with your mother; you will find the other cleansing materials in the collection for releasing spiritual bindings.
The Mother–Child guide for wounds in the family lineage →
When you need a therapist alongside you
You can do the gentle exercises on your own, at your own pace. But if the trauma is great, or you feel something might emerge that you cannot hold, do the first connection with a therapist who can hold space for you. And if you carry severe trauma, also see a psychologist with an open heart: energy work goes hand in hand with caring for your mental health, not in place of it.
And remember: salt cleanses energy, but it does not resolve psychological or transgenerational problems—those require work at the source, in the first seven years, and action. The wind blows only into open sails: open them yourself, which means choosing yourself.
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My complete guide to inner child healing
I have collected the entire protocol from sessions and livestreams—the exercises, release phrases and work with the family lineage—in the Inner Child Healing: Releases PDF guide, so you can work step by step at home. For guided work, there is also the video course with inner child meditations.
Work with me: the inner child healing livestream
The simplest way to start right now: sit comfortably, with your hand on your heart, and start the livestream. Repeat the phrases aloud and let the tears flow.
You will find more exercises in the livestream with the soul fragment recovery exercise, and in the livestream with practical exercises you can see how I work step by step with people's inner children.
Frequently asked questions about inner child healing
What is the inner child?
The part of you that remained a child and holds childhood emotions, memories and experiences—both wounds and joys. It is the quickest gateway to the soul and the purest, most spontaneous and authentic part of you.
What does inner child healing mean?
It means reconnecting with them, acknowledging their wounds, releasing the energy blocked in the emotional body, and bringing them home into your heart—essentially becoming your own parent. It is not a single session, but a relationship you return to in a spiral.
How can I tell whether my inner child is wounded?
The most common signs: toxic or repeating relationships, fear of abandonment, self-sabotage, perfectionism, a need for validation, easily triggered anger, difficulty expressing your needs, and ‘I do not remember anything from childhood’.
Why do I cry so much when working with my inner child?
Because what was swallowed in childhood is coming out. Crying is a form of expression many of us were not allowed—let it flow: tears wash the soul, and what comes out is no longer inside you.
How long does inner child healing take?
As long as needed—we are not rushing. At first, a lot of ‘black ink’ flows and there is much crying; then the child begins to smile and ask you for ice cream. Five to fifteen minutes a day, consistently, is worth more than any marathon.
Stop waiting for a partner or your children, for someone to come and make you well: we are the parents of our own inner children. Make time tonight—a hug, an ice cream together with the little girl or boy inside you. That warmth in your chest, welling up from nowhere—that is you, whole. Sending you a kiss, and I look forward to seeing you at the next livestream.
