Fear: where your fears come from and how to dissolve them (from the live mini-constellations)

Many of you have often asked me for a livestream about fears. So I held two consecutive evenings in which, through mini-constellations, I represented the greatest fear of each person who joined live. The idea came to me while returning by bus from Romania to Paris: 28 hours spent observing people. And I realized how many fears we carry, and how many come from the wounded inner child.

What I saw in the two livestreams is easy to say and hard to live: fears are illusions. They are illusions and a lack of trust in God. But this does not make them any less real in the body. While representing them, I felt cold on my back, trembling, pain on the left side, a stabbing sensation in the chest. Fear stays in the body until you see it and work on it.

Below I explain how I work with fears in representations, which fears emerged most often and where they come from, and what practically helps you break free of fear — not overnight, but step by step.

An important point before anything else: if you experience intense anxiety, panic attacks, or phobias that block your life, see a doctor or psychologist/psychotherapist. What I do — representations, release practices, meditations — can support you but does not replace professional help.

How I represent fears in a mini-constellation

The format is brief. The person joins the livestream and asks: ‘Cristina, can you represent my greatest fear?’ I connect to their field and say what I feel — in the body, in the energy — often before they tell me anything. Then the person confirms or adds to it. If you want to understand the underlying method better, I wrote at length about what family constellations are and how they work.

I noticed two things again:

• The fear on the surface leads to another, deeper one. It moves from one to another until reaching the source. Someone came with the fear of being ‘stupid’. Underneath was the fear of making mistakes. Beneath that was the question: what happened when you were little and made a mistake? You were scolded. If a mistake equaled scolding and lack of love, a pattern formed. And subconsciously, even today, you struggle with the adult who told you ‘be careful, do not make mistakes’.
• I do not dig where things do not open up. When it does not come through clearly, I do not invent stories. It means it is the person’s task to reach that place themselves.

The advantage of group work is seeing others and working on yourself too. It opens your field. We all have all the fears that emerged that evening, to a greater or lesser degree.

The most common fears and where they come from

The fear of not being loved

It emerged again and again in different forms. The answer was always the same: work on self-love and on your inner child. The problem is in your relationship with yourself.

In one representation, the need to be loved was linked to money. I said: be careful not to buy love. You chase others instead of loving yourself, and then you pay, one way or another, to receive it. All of this is subconscious. It is worth considering the connection between money and love in your own life.

Fear of abandonment and fear of being alone

Fear of abandonment was perhaps the most frequent: ‘so my husband does not leave me’, ‘so I do not end up alone’, ‘I do anything not to be alone’. Someone admitted: ‘And in the end you do end up alone, do you not? That is the great tragedy.’

Here is what came to me very clearly that evening: abandonment from outside is merely a reflection of self-abandonment. If you do not abandon yourself, nobody will abandon you. You work on the wound of when you abandon yourself — and that is how you prevent it. I know what I am talking about: I too abandoned myself, my wound was abandonment, and many people abandoned me in turn.

When someone asked me to represent their needs, love emerged again: an empty cup. Take it and fill it yourself. If you recognize yourself here, I have prepared dedicated release practices:

I want the release practices for fear of abandonment →

The fear of exclusion, of not belonging

One participant feared being pushed aside and not belonging — which made her do anything for others. At the root was the fear of not belonging to her mother. In the representation I felt it on the left side of the body, which for me relates to the mother.

And here I received a gift from someone in the livestream. How much do you belong to yourself? I spent a lifetime chasing others. Imagine what our lives would look like if we chased ourselves, our gifts, as desperately as we chased others. We would live in another world. It is not complicated: move the chasing from them to yourself.

Fear of lack: money, food, or not managing

Financial insecurity emerged very often: ‘I will have nothing to eat’, ‘things will turn ugly’. I felt it strongly when pregnant with my first child in 2012. I had a salary and a permanent contract, yet I was seized by a terrible fear that I would have nothing to feed the child. Only now do I understand: it was an inherited ancestral fear. We all have them.

That is why I ask you: stop nagging children about money. That is how you create their fears. For the fear of insufficiency, I made the release practices Famine and Lack.

Someone else feared ‘I will not manage’ — not in a particular area, but generally. All their life they had been told they could not succeed, although they did. It is the constant drip: a phrase repeated for years breaks stone. There you work energetically and return those energies (I show you how below).

The fear of being beaten

For someone in the livestream, I felt a hole in her back between the chakras, and asked: ‘Were you beaten when you were little?’ Yes. I have noticed this in other people: childhood beatings do not remain there, in the past. They manifest in adult life. Perhaps you do not speak your truth, are much too compliant with your boss, or do not assert your rights — from a subconscious fear of being hit. This even affects your ability to earn money: when someone steals from you or mocks you, you stay silent instead of defending yourself.

If you have experienced physical violence, also work on it with a psychologist or psychotherapist; if you are still in a violent situation, seek help immediately. For the energetic aspect, I created the release practices for beatings, violence, and physical abuse.

Fear related to weight

Several women came with the fear of gaining weight. Behind it are emotions: you find balance much more easily when you manage them. For one woman, the fear came from her mother. If your mother placed body-related shame on you, you are not obliged to live in it. For another, the solution was in the problem: she did not feel comfortable in her own skin. For weight and health, see a doctor.

Fear of death

Almost all fears eventually lead to fear of death. It is the greatest fear — and the greatest illusion. You are not obliged to live with it. Death is not against life; it is life’s friend, bringing transformation.

Once, at a family constellation group, someone was needed to represent death. Two people were frightened and refused. I volunteered. In that energy I did not feel negative at all — it was a transforming energy. Life and death were friends, which is roughly how it should be.

One variation is the fear of disappearing or disintegrating. It relates to the void you pass through in spiritual awakening; meditation on the void is done gently. Sometimes it is linked to depression. If you have experienced or are experiencing depression or dark thoughts, first see a doctor, psychiatrist, or psychologist.

Fear of darkness and of ‘losing your mind’

Someone feared falling back into darkness. Her motto became: God does not give you more than you can carry. Someone else feared ‘losing her mind’. The answer from the field: when you pray, ask for lessons to come more gently, and settle into the energy ‘I receive lessons gently’. Those of us who did not experience gentleness in childhood must learn gentleness towards ourselves.

Fog in the head

One participant felt ‘in a winter fog’. What I sensed: she was consuming far too much content. If your head lacks clarity, you have overconsumed. If someone puts fog into you — even me — stop listening and settle into your intuition. I wrote about clearing the mind in mental clarity and release practices for the mind.

Why you have the fear you have

When someone told me ‘I am afraid of losing my job; I have been to five interviews’, I asked: why are you afraid? You manifest. What happens when we have fears? Fear controls us. An emotional body that has not been worked on goes wildly off track with various fears — and manipulative people know exactly this and play with it.

There is something else: some fears are not yours. Someone who wishes you harm ‘sends’ you a fear, and if you are not conscious, you take it as your own. The same applies to fears inherited from your lineage or mother.

About wounds: those with the betrayal wound usually go on to betray in turn; those with the abandonment wound first abandon themselves. These are general patterns, shortcuts showing where the water may flow.

And please: do not escape into past lives. Much fear comes from here — Mom, Dad, childhood. Work on your foundations first: Mom, Dad, and the parts within you. For the parents and inner child aspect, I offer:

I want the release practices for the inner child →

How to break free of fear: what helps in practice

It is not complicated. Nobody taught us this — it was the mother’s job, but if emotionally she was the child and you the adult, who was there to teach you? We are learning now. Here is what emerged in the livestreams:

1. Name the fear and go down to its source. Ask yourself: what is beneath it? What happened when I was little and…? Move from one thing to another until finding the pattern.
2. Develop your emotional body. This means recognizing your emotions; knowing which are yours and which are not; managing them without yelling or projecting them onto others; and alchemically transforming what comes, using energy consciously.
3. Give back what is not yours. Sense whose energies they are, return them, and remove them. Or thank them with gratitude for helping you cope then, and let them go.
4. Turn off the stove. The mind producing drama heats up like a pot of beans on the fire. Turn off the stove, and the bubbling in your head ends. Cut the thread through breathing, meditation, and control over the mind, then settle again.
5. Pray — but do not beg. Prayer immediately settles you and takes you out of illusions. But ‘please, I am crying here, come and save me’ is not prayer, it is begging — you place yourself in victimhood. Whatever happens, do not stay in trauma; turn to prayer.
6. Divide the mountain into small portions. When I have a huge problem, I divide it into small steps and take a few each day. The mountain becomes a small daily portion.
7. Find your own mechanisms. Yoga once a week helps me: it centers you and cuts many toxic streams in the head. Or meditations. We each have an inner dialogue and mechanisms that help — find yours.
8. Talk with the parts within you. We all have a dependent part and an independent one. You can be very financially independent and very emotionally dependent. It is a much better exercise than Netflix: sit on the sofa and discuss things with all your parts.
9. Tell yourself what you want to hear. One participant needed to be told more often that she was beautiful. It is pointless for the other person to say it if you cannot see it yourself. Tell yourself.
10. Chase yourself, not others. That was the evening’s gift.

Life showed me this recently too: I had an accident on the road because I ignored my fatigue — I treated myself as my mother treated me. But it came with gifts: it removed my limiting belief that the world is dangerous, because precisely then people helped me, one after another. I worked through the shock with tapping (EFT). An accident or trauma should be worked on quickly so it does not harden — with a psychologist or psychotherapist if it burdens you.

If you want us to work together on your fears through representations and release practices:

I want an individual session with Cristina →

Watch the representations in the livestream

Below is the second part, with most of the representations and the mechanisms that help with fears:

You can find the first part, with fear of death, fear of not being loved, and fear of not belonging, in the livestream ‘Representing Fears’.

Frequently asked questions about fear

Where do fears come from?

From what I saw in representations, most come from childhood and the relationship with Mom and Dad: fear of mistakes from scolding, fear of abandonment from self-abandonment, fear of being beaten from beatings. Others are inherited from the lineage, such as fear of lack. Some are not even yours. Very rarely do they come from past lives.

How can you break free of fear?

Name it and go down to its source. Recognize what is yours and return what is not. Cut the drama through breathing and meditation, pray without begging, divide big problems into small steps, and work on self-love. If the fear is very strong, seek help from a doctor or psychologist.

What is fear of abandonment, and how do you work on it?

It is the fear of being left, of ending up alone. Abandonment from outside reflects self-abandonment. You work on it by stopping abandoning yourself: respect your needs, love yourself, and fill your own cup.

Do all fears lead to fear of death?

Broadly, yes: fear of death is the greatest fear and greatest illusion. Death is not against life; it is transformation, life’s friend. You are not obliged to live with this fear.

When must I see a doctor or psychologist?

When you have intense anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, depression, dark thoughts, or trauma — an accident, violence, abuse — affecting everyday life. Spiritual work can support you but does not replace a professional.

You are not obliged to live with your fears. Love yourself, chase yourself, and receive lessons gently. Sending you a kiss, and I look forward to seeing you at the next livestream.