“Cristina, why do I sabotage myself just when things are going well?” It is the question I receive most often on this subject. And my answer is always the same: you do not want things to go badly for you. A part of you, a very old one, is trying to protect you according to rules learned in childhood. Those rules kept you alive then. Today, they hold you back.
In live streams, I often repeat a phrase I want you to remember: what helps you at one level holds you back at the next. The program that saved you in childhood becomes your brake in adulthood. That is why you sabotage yourself precisely when things begin to go well: well-being is unknown territory for that part of you, and it pulls you back toward what it knows.
Below, I explain what self-sabotage looks like in everyday life, which part of you sabotages, what programs lie behind it and how to release them.
What self-sabotage looks like in everyday life
Self-sabotage rarely announces itself by name. It arrives as repeating patterns that you call bad luck:
- You start and stop. You have momentum, begin a project or a plan — and just when it should move forward, an obstacle appears. Someone wrote to me, “wherever I go, all the doors are closed”. I answered with the truth: the work is within you. Reality shows you what you carry inside. If you see yourself, the world begins to see you too.
- You bury yourself in work, yet the money still does not come. “I have to make money” — this frantic running often comes from a need for validation, and behind it stands the old program that believes only hard work counts as work, like pulling a cart. It is not so: you need to pull intelligently, not hard.
- Relationships follow the same pattern. You remain in relationships that drain you and wait for scraps of attention from someone who gives you drops just enough to make you stay. I call this feeding on crumbs: enough that you do not leave, never enough to feel full.
- You do these things without knowing you are doing them. The programs are subconscious — those are the most real ones. Only when life gives you the same lesson for the third time do you begin looking within.
If you recognized yourself in any of these situations, you are not broken. You simply have parts operating according to old programs. And programs can be released.
Which part of you sabotages, and why?
Here is the part few people want to hear: the part that sabotages you is not your enemy. It is a child part that suffered and learned its survival lesson too well.
In live streams, I explain it like this: you internalize your childhood abuser, then abuse yourself. The voice criticizing you just when things are going well is not your adult voice — it is an old, absorbed voice. The same applies to the victim part: we repeat the first seven years of childhood, and if there was suffering there, we recreate that part in adult life so it will finally be seen. Even a strong person may discover a victim part through this work. The difference is whether you remain in it or leave.
Because as long as you stay in victim energy — “he did this to me, she did that to me” — you are in the child's role. We cannot live our adult life from the child's role. The sabotaging part is precisely that child part, keeping you in its familiar territory.
That is why you do not wage war on it: when we work with trauma, we risk retraumatizing ourselves, so we work gently, very gently. In live streams, I thank the programs: “Thank you for helping me survive.” They really did — now you can let them go with gratitude, not hatred.
The programs behind self-sabotage
Behind the brake? Programs. Here are the most common:
- “I am worth nothing.” The older sibling of self-sabotage. From it comes the need to do more, more and more — in the body I feel it as lumps of cement on the shoulder blades. Anyone carrying it does not appreciate their work and gifts, however much they do. If you recognize it in yourself, also read about lack of self-confidence and how to release it.
- “I please everyone, even at my own expense.” In a live stream, I first gave the simple version and felt nothing, because I had worked on that theme. When I said it with “even at my own expense”, bam — a stabbing pain in the back. There are many layers of subtlety. You do anything to be liked because you have not accepted the parts within you.
- Perfectionism. It creates holes in the energy body, and anything can attach to a hole: if you have a hole around a theme, your self-confidence can also be taken there. That is why I also say, “I send back all spells cast on my self-confidence” — but a spell cannot attach to anything without the actual hole.
- “I prefer not to see.” The ostrich program: you do not look at the problem. But if you do not look at it, you do not solve it — and it looks at you.
- “I am a victim.” It attracts repeated abuse until you dissolve it. If relationships are a difficult theme for you, also read the signs of narcissism and releasing it.
- The need for others' permission. In childhood, you were conditioned to wait for external validation. Resolve this need, and half of the self-sabotage settles by itself.
- Programs inherited from the family lineage. “Work hard, brother” is an ancestral program, not a universal truth. It dissolves in the same way: “I dissolve the self-sabotage programs inherited from my lineage.”
And underneath them, almost always, lies fear — a lack of trust in God. A fear program is not fought; it is rewritten with love. Because you are not your programs: reality shows them, and you manifest reality — I wrote about how this works in the article on the law of attraction.
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How the work is done: releasing self-sabotage
There is a reason I call it a release. Self-sabotage is a binding you created within yourself, usually without knowing it — and it is worked on as a release: with phrases spoken intentionally, representation in the body and love put back in place.
1. Release phrases
It is not enough to listen to them like a soap opera — psychic energy needs to be there. Repeat them for half an hour a day:
- “I dissolve all the self-sabotage programs within me, across all times and spaces, lives and dimensions, and beyond them.”
- “I dissolve all the self-sabotage programs inherited from my lineage.”
- “I dissolve in love all the self-sabotage programs others created in me or I created in myself.”
- “I dissolve the program ‘I please everyone, even at my own expense’.”
- “I dissolve the program ‘I am a victim’.”
- “I am fine as I am, and I accept myself as I am.”
- “I have my own value, and I do not allow anyone to batter me.”
After each phrase, let the body speak. Yawning, burping, tears and sighs are the release of old energy — good signs.
2. Represent the sabotaging part
Close your eyes and ask yourself: where do I feel this program in my body? In people, I find it on the shoulder blades, the shoulders — heavy, like sacks — the spine, the stomach. I worked a great deal with a childhood memory in which I carried loads that were too heavy and heard that I was lazy: I felt them on my shoulders for years. When you find the energy, take it out: cut the energy body in two, like an old suit, and step out of it; with the sword of light, clear all the darkness from the spine.
3. Make peace with it, not war
This is where everyone goes wrong: they rise up forcibly against themselves. No. You are the adult now. Speak to that part as you would to a child who has suffered: “I am sorry. Thank you. I love you.” Ho'oponopono works too: “I am sorry. Forgive me. I love you.” And if the trauma is from childhood: “It was my soul's choice. I accept it. I survived. I am the adult, and from now on I take care of you.”
4. Fill the emptiness with love
When you cut and dissolve, an energetic emptiness remains — do not leave it empty. Fill the place with love, like a wound you carefully dress after surgery, and let the body settle.
5. Give it 30 days
The mind needs an average of 30 days to create a new path, a new habit. Do not expect a program that has remained for 40 years to disappear in a day. Work gently every day, and at some point you notice you no longer betray yourself. Because remember: when you betray yourself, you receive only betrayals.
6. Identify the need behind the pattern
Every harmful pattern covers a real need — for communication, being seen, validation. See what yours is, and ask yourself: can I meet it differently, in a higher dimension? We can do things differently.
Practical exercises to begin today
- In the morning, acceptance: close your eyes and send the phrase “I am fine as I am, and I accept myself as I am” into every cell. When you accept yourself, you need less external validation — and prioritize yourself.
- In the evening, the inner child: see the part that suffered, hold it in your arms: “I see you and I love you. You survived. I am the adult, and from now on I take care of you.”
- The letter to your parents: “Dear mother / dear father, you gave me life, and I thank you. I needed more validation, a gentler gaze. I missed it, and it affects me.” The truth hurts, but speaking the truth cleanses the field. Do not force yourself if it is not ready: there are stages — truth, acceptance, forgiveness — then the gifts.
- Posture: walk upright down the street, with flowing energy. Even posture shows who is in their own energy.
- Close the energy body: visualize your aura, repair the holes with light and love, then finish: “I activate my self-respect. I call back my kindness lost in toxic relationships and my innocence. Yes to God. Yes to life. Yes to love.”
When you need more
These phrases, repeated seriously, move mountains. But sometimes there are many layers, and it is hard to see the box you are in by yourself. Then work with someone: you can find me for an individual session, and in the release collection you will find everything I have prepared on this theme.
I want an individual session with Cristina →
Watch the live stream on releases for self-sabotage
Start the live stream below, close your eyes when I tell you and repeat the phrases at your own pace.
For another round of releases on this theme, also watch the live stream Releases for Self-Sabotage, where I also work on programs inherited from the family lineage.
Frequently asked questions about self-sabotage
Why do I sabotage myself?
Because a part of you formed in childhood is trying to protect you according to old rules. Self-sabotage programs helped you survive at an age when you had no other tools. What helps you at one level holds you back at the next: when life moves upward, that part pulls back toward what it knows.
How can I tell whether I have self-sabotage programs?
Look at patterns, not individual days: you start and stop, work brings no progress, relationships follow the same pattern, doors seem closed everywhere. And you feel the program in the body: heaviness on the shoulder blades, shoulders like sacks, pressure on the spine.
Is self-sabotage inherited from the family lineage?
Yes, there are inherited programs, such as “only hard work counts as work”. They dissolve with the same phrases, adding “inherited from my lineage”, across all times and dimensions.
How do I know whether it is self-sabotage or spells?
Most often, they mix. Spells attach to holes in the energy body, and programs create the holes: perfectionism, lack of appreciation, fear. That is why, alongside “I send back spells cast on my self-confidence”, I work on the underlying program too — otherwise the hole remains, and something attaches again.
How long does releasing self-sabotage take?
There are many layers of subtlety. A first layer may leave during the first live stream you work through seriously. For a new habit, the mind needs around 30 days; deep programs are worked through in layers.
Do I need to fight the sabotaging part within me?
No. War with yourself is another program of internalized abuse. The sabotaging part heals through recognition, thanks and love. Peace with yourself is the release.
Dear one, if you have read this far, the part that wanted to stop you did not succeed. Continue gently with yourself, day by day: see yourself, accept yourself, prioritize yourself. It is not selfishness; it is energetic hygiene. Sending you a kiss, and I look forward to seeing you at the next live stream.
