On March 8, I did a livestream about feminine energy and immature femininity, and a few days later I discussed masculine energy and its archetypes. These two energies underlie how we live our lives, relationships, and manifestation.
The first thing I want you to remember: we all have feminine and masculine energy. This is not women against men. A woman has a masculine part within her, a man has a feminine part within him, and our work is to bring them into balance. And when discussing immature patterns, we do not point fingers at others: I believe we are all immature occasionally. We are all on a spectrum and have a little of everything.
Below you will find the archetypes, their gifts and shadows, and balancing exercises.
Yin and yang: what the two energies mean
Masculine energy is the yang of yin and yang: a vital, expansive force directed outward, toward action. Feminine energy is more inward: toward beauty, self-examination, understanding, and receiving. Neither is better than the other. Without yang, you manifest nothing concretely; without yin, you do not understand what you manifest or why.
The qualities we usually associate with masculine energy are determination, courage, initiative, and protection. But they do not belong only to men. When you see a determined businesswoman who knows what she wants and puts things in order, that is masculine energy in action.
In nature, yang is the sun, fire, day, and summer; in the body, movement; in personality, assertiveness and enthusiasm. That is why I recommend meditation in the sun: it fills you beautifully with energy.
How to recognize healthy masculine energy
We women, especially, sometimes have no idea what healthy masculine energy looks like — particularly after relationships with toxic people. Here are a few signs, in anyone who carries them, woman or man:
- A sense of responsibility. The person owns their part in the relationship and what they did or did not do, without taking the victim role or blaming you for everything.
- The ability to make decisions. If you are always indecisive, look at the state of your masculine energy.
- The desire to protect and support. Masculine energy that abuses those around it is not masculinity; it is a toxic, immature form.
- Authentic emotional expression. Who said men should not cry? I work with both men and women in individual sessions and have been surprised at how beautifully and authentically men can express themselves.
In daily life, yang energy means acting quickly but with wisdom and confidence, not from panic or lack; calculated risks, calm in a crisis, and affection shown through actions.
The four archetypes of the mature masculine
Masculine energy can be viewed through several mirrors. I work with four mature archetypes. They do not exclude one another: each of us has a unique mixture, and mature masculine energy contains them all.
The King
The King has a sense of responsibility, rises above situations, and makes the right decisions. He brings order — first in the mind, then in life — and guides others, like a wise boss who organizes everything so well that things run themselves. When everything is clear within you and you are responsible, you usually begin attracting abundance too.
The Warrior
The Warrior means strength, courage, discipline, focus and protecting those who are more vulnerable. Sometimes life requires you to stand your ground and hold to your opinion. A great gift of the Warrior is emotional detachment: it is very good for women to have this part too, where you detach from a situation and make cooler-headed decisions. The Warrior does not say ‘I am afraid, I am desperate’. Desperation is a very toxic form of energy in anyone. The balanced Warrior is detached but warm, compassionate, and caring toward self and others.
The Magician
The Magician represents knowledge, intuition, and transformation: curiosity, the gift of learning and inspiring, like a mentor. In women, the equivalent is the High Priestess. The Magician knows energy and power but uses them for everyone’s good, not manipulation. Sometimes fighting is unnecessary: a situation can be ‘alchemized’ with a word. The best war is the one you do not need to fight.
The Lover
The Lover brings passion, sensitivity, and emotional connection: empathy, compassion, appreciation of beauty. Love does not belong only to women. The Lover keeps the other archetypes anchored in love and meaning. Many enter personal development after manifesting money and relationships, yet something was missing — meaning. And meaning always comes from love: for others, yourself, or the divine. You can be a warrior, but when an intention of love lies behind it, it is felt.
When you understand the archetypes, you also see what lies behind a behavior: if someone approaches you very much as a ‘warrior’, perhaps there is only a need for validation behind it.
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The immature masculine: archetypes and shadows
Every mature archetype has an earlier immature stage, with an active shadow and a passive shadow. We women can have them too in our masculine part.
- The Divine Child (becomes the mature King). Positively, it brings creativity, wonder, and openness to the world. The active shadow is the arrogant tyrant, who projects outward, boasts a lot, is capricious and perpetually dissatisfied, and always blames others — like a two-year-old in an adult body. The passive shadow is the eternal victim, the ‘weak prince’, who manipulates through complaints and passivity. Abuse happens through what you do not do too, not only through what you do.
- The Precocious Child (becomes the Magician). It is a source of genius and wisdom. The active shadow is the trickster, who manipulates and gains trust in order to betray it. Over time, people distance themselves without saying why. The passive shadow is the apathetic innocent, who contributes nothing, only criticizes and spoils the atmosphere.
- The Child Bound to Mother (becomes the Lover). The active shadow is the ‘mama’s boy’, who cannot detach and avoids responsibility or intimacy — including the person who moves from relationship to relationship. The passive shadow is the isolated dreamer: grandiose in thought but without any manifestation.
- The Hero (becomes the Warrior). The Hero is a necessary stage — from zero to hero — but still a stage. The active shadow is the ‘bully’, who seems invincible but is actually insecure and dominates through verbal, physical, or emotional violence. The passive shadow is the coward, who avoids every confrontation and swallows humiliations, then explodes when frustration reaches a critical point.
The mature forms have shadows too: for the Warrior, the sadist and the masochist (either you harm others or harm yourself by repeatedly placing yourself in victim situations); for the Magician, the manipulator; for the Lover, the addict, caught in a cycle of pleasure and pain.
If you experience or experienced violence or abuse in a relationship, it is not an issue to resolve alone through archetypes: seek specialist help from a psychologist or psychotherapist, and from the authorities if you are in danger. Know that you have the right not to accept toxic masculine energy from anyone.
The coward and the chess game
For the coward within us, I have an image that came during my individuation process: see life as a chess game. If someone cornered you, make another move and leave the corner. Do not remain a pawn in someone else’s game. Respond with balance, but do not swallow humiliations: humiliation affects your ability to act, whether you are a woman or man.
Trauma as a path to power
Many of us entered traumas to learn resilience and prove our strength. Once, on a hairbrush package, I read ‘55% less effort, 100% happier’ and laughed: that is exactly the question. Is suffering the only way to be strong? You took strength from that situation; now bring yourself back to the center with it.
Immature femininity: signs and patterns
I did the March 8 livestream so we could look at ourselves, not blame others. Emotional immaturity means you do not yet have enough maturity to manage relationships and responsibilities healthily. We women have all experienced some of these signs, and they exist in other forms in men too.
The main signs:
- Excessive emotional dependence. Love does not come from outside; you manifest it from within. How much love you can receive depends on how much you give yourself. I went through this, and it does not bring happiness.
- Refusing responsibility. You avoid commitments and blame others — very often children, because that is easiest.
- Capricious, unstable behavior. There is an important nuance here: if you are very empathetic and do everything alone without prioritizing yourself, too much accumulates and eventually you erupt. Unexpressed expectations guarantee reproaches. Maturing means expressing your emotions and needs in a balanced way, especially if they were suppressed in childhood.
- Manipulation and victimhood. When you take the victim role, you do not take responsibility for your actions.
- Selfishness. Putting yourself first is not selfish — it is healthy. Selfishness is disregarding others’ needs entirely.
The archetypes of immature femininity
- The Capricious Princess expects everything served on a platter, admiration, and pampering without offering anything in return. A little pampering as play is fine; the problem is when everyone around her becomes her ‘servants’.
- The Eternal Adolescent refuses to grow up: grandiose dreams and high ideals, but little action and avoidance of adult responsibilities.
- The Drama Queen overreacts to everything, and everyone at home ends up walking on eggshells. Gossip and constant criticism belong here too. And this especially affects children.
- The Woman-Child has no emotional or practical autonomy and expects her partner to be her parent. The relationship is no longer adult to adult.
And a dynamic I often see: a very strong woman beside an immature partner. She takes over everything; he withdraws — and neither is happy. Both share responsibility. For strong women, the lesson is to leave room for the other person’s masculine energy to manifest; for the partner, it is to assume their share.
Where do these patterns come from? Often, an overprotected childhood or a lack of balanced family models. Behind all of them is actually the fear of committing fully to a relationship with every part of yourself.
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Parents’ role: the first model of feminine and masculine
The father is usually the one who gives you courage in life. If you fear going into the world and asserting yourself, work on the relationship with your father. If he was absent, there is a gift there too: you were not shaped by a fixed template and can build your own masculine energy, taking inspiration from around you.
Girls often seek their father in partners, boys their mother — a natural stage Jung links to the process of individuation. As an adult, however, you need to cut the umbilical cord. If you had a harsh, violent, or critical parent, it is a major wound: there is inner-child work and work on that parent relationship through family constellations. You cannot heal in the environment that hurt you, so sometimes you need distance from that parent, at least temporarily — and support from a psychologist or psychotherapist. What you do not work on passes onward to children.
How to balance your feminine and masculine energy
Here are the exercises and advice from the livestreams:
- Take responsibility. You cannot heal something until you own your part. First let your victim part cry and be acknowledged; then, with a little distance, ask: ‘Why did I choose A rather than B? What was my actual need? Is this the only way to meet it?’ When you take responsibility, solutions come too.
- List the needs. Write down what needs your partner meets. The first 10–15 come easily; the real ones appear from 30 onward, so return after two or three days until you reach about 40. Then ask for each: ‘Is my partner the only way to meet this need?’ The exercise applies to anyone.
- Observe the forms of masculinity around you — the boss, father, partner, friends, determined women. Value what is healthy and set boundaries with what is toxic.
- Learn from other women. Women are not rivals; each has gifts from which you can take something.
- Work with the first three chakras. If you are very ‘high’ in spirituality and struggle to manifest, come down into the body. I wrote about the second chakra in the sacral chakra: sexuality and creativity, and if you want to work on it directly, there are also the complete sacral-chakra release practices.
- Discipline and movement. Exercise, a clear routine, grounding food. Move energy through the body by imagining a figure eight carrying it from side to side.
- Do the things you fear, piece by piece. Fear is an indicator.
- Mini constellations with cards: what does my masculine energy want from me? And my feminine energy?
- Return to these themes. Like an onion, you remove layer after layer — it is lifelong work.
If you feel these patterns affect your relationships, I have also gathered Love Release Practices and Activations for you, and wrote in depth about love blockages in release practices for love and sexuality.
Watch the livestream about masculine archetypes
For the first part, with healthy masculine energy and the four mature archetypes, see the livestream Masculine energy, and for immature femininity, the March 8 livestream.
Frequently asked questions about feminine and masculine energy
What is feminine energy?
Feminine energy is yin: directed inward, toward beauty, understanding, and receiving. We all have it, women and men.
What is masculine energy?
Masculine energy is yang: an expansive force associated with determination, courage, initiative, protection, and responsibility. It is essential for manifestation, and women have it too.
What are the masculine archetypes?
The four mature archetypes I work with are the King (order, responsibility), Warrior (courage, discipline), Magician (knowledge, transformation), and Lover (passion, connection, meaning). Each has an immature form and active and passive shadows.
What do yin and yang mean in a couple?
Each partner has both energies, and the relationship goes well when each balances them. When one takes over the entire active role and the other withdraws, an imbalance emerges that exhausts both.
How do I balance my feminine and masculine energy?
Take responsibility, list your needs, work on the first three chakras, bring in discipline and movement, and take small steps toward your fears. If you experienced trauma or abuse, also seek support from a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Personal development never ends, but it gives meaning and helps you blossom. And each of us can ‘give birth’ to something: ideas, projects, an increasingly beautiful life. Let both energies blossom within you. Sending you a kiss, and I look forward to seeing you at the next livestream.
