When someone in the community asked me for a livestream about twin flames, I sat down and thought about what title to give it. And only one came to mind: ‘losing your head completely’. Because, honestly, if you have trauma and drama in your life, nothing compares with what the twin flame story can do to you.
I am not speaking from books. I came across this concept because it happened to me: I was searching online for the symptoms I had, because I did not understand what was happening to me. I have a playlist of about 700 twin flame videos that I consumed then, some ten minutes long and others an hour. So this was a burning issue for me.
Below I share what the theory says, the stages I went through, how to distinguish a twin flame from a soulmate or a karmic relationship, and — most importantly — where the danger lies. I am not telling you this is absolute truth. I am sharing what I saw, what I experienced, and the conclusion I reached.
What a twin flame is
A twin flame (in English, twin flame) is a theory that says a soul splits in two and the two pieces incarnate on Earth. Each has many past lives, each follows their own path, and during a great awakening of the planet, the two halves find each other again. It is said to be their last life on Earth.
When they meet, the relationship is extraordinarily intense. There is nothing more powerful than that experience.
The theory speaks of the divine feminine and the divine masculine. Be careful: here we are talking about energy, not a woman and a man. I, for example, have feminine energy, shakti. Generally, the side that awakens spiritually first is the divine feminine — because that is the purpose of the whole process: the great awakening, the great cleansing.
Twin flame, soulmate, or karmic relationship?
Many people mix them up. I distinguish them like this:
- Karmic relationships. These are the vast majority of the relationships we have had so far. You have debts or unresolved matters from other lives with that person and have met again to close them: ‘you give to me, I give to you’. They are not at the highest vibration, and many of them are now simply breaking apart.
- A soulmate. This is another soul, not the same one, but from your soul family. Relationships with a soulmate are generally positive, with more love than karmic ones. In any case, every relationship is a school: you learn something from each one.
- A twin flame. According to the theory, this is the same soul. And the other person mirrors one hundred percent of all your shadows, conscious and unconscious. Everything is multiplied — love, trauma, and drama. Not by a thousand. By a hundred thousand.
And something else: true twin flames are rare. There are not so many old souls that large numbers can experience this. A young soul cannot sustain such intensity.
How I experienced a twin flame
In 2012, I fell in love suddenly, as though someone had hit me over the head with a club. I was a very settled woman; I did not chase men. But the moment I kissed that person, I had a vision: an energy was swirling, an immense love. Today I would put it like this: I saw the source, the moment that soul was born.
I was not spiritually awakened at all. And I began noticing the times: 11:11, 10:10, 22:22. A kind of telepathy appeared between us — we would connect on WhatsApp at the same moment, with synchronicity after synchronicity. Waves of energy and love passed through my body that were unlike ordinary love. It was something divine. I felt on top of the world.
It lasted about a month. Then the second part came. And after I tell you about it, I will no longer wish it on you.
The stages of a twin flame
Everyone experiences the process differently. This is how I experienced it, and broadly how the theory describes it:
- Recognition and infinite love. You recognize each other and access the love in which the soul was born. It does not last long. Sustaining such love requires a great deal of strength, especially in the vibration here.
- Testing and the ego. At first, you resonate; you have a song of the soul. Then the ego emerges and says: ‘Wait, it cannot be like this.’ Each begins testing the other. Arguments arise. The Universe seems to put obstacles in your way: small misunderstandings ignite the fire, like gas brought near a flame.
- Running and chasing (runner and chaser). The relationship becomes very intense, and so do the arguments. One runs, and the other chases. Usually the divine feminine chases and the divine masculine runs. And the harder you chase, the harder the other runs. That is exactly how it was for me: the man moved to another country overnight, and I was ready to move there without knowing the language.
- Separation and searching. You search for information frantically because this is not like usual. You go through enormous emotional states: one day you are all love, the next all ego. This is often where the dark night of the soul appears too: the ego shatters.
- Surrender (surrender). You leave it to God: let whatever God wants happen. You no longer wait.
As for reunion, twin flame literature says the relationship is generally so intense that there is no reunion on Earth in the sense of a couple living together. You meet occasionally, activate each other again, and that is all.
I want the release practices for fear of abandonment →
The signs people discuss with twin flames
If you are wondering ‘is this my twin flame?’, here is what I experienced and what frequently appears in what I read:
- An intensity unlike anything else. It is not the kind of love aimed at marriage, not karma, and not friendship. You feel fullness, as though you no longer need anything.
- Mirroring. The other person shows you exactly what you have not worked on in yourself or what is completely in shadow.
- Obsessive thoughts. You cannot think about anything except that person.
- Mirror hours and synchronicities. 11:11, 10:10, 22:22, and signs from the Universe.
- Waves of energy through the body, difficult to handle in daily life.
- Crossing taboos. For example, a large age difference. It is not obligatory, but it often appears.
- Unmet expectations. You want them to call, seek you out, and say they love you — and it does not happen. You feel hurt, take everything personally, and have enormous doubts about whether they love you.
But be careful: take great care not to fall into the trap. If you do not have these symptoms, do not imagine them. And even if you do, they do not give you the right to stay in a relationship that harms you.
What is myth: the false twin flame and the narcissistic trap
Here is the part I want you to understand well. Twin flames have become very fashionable. And many people who present themselves as ‘twin flames’ are actually false twin flames (fake twins): disguised karmic relationships. They seem very similar because they are very intense — you feel as though you have always known that person.
In my case, along the way I realized the man was a narcissist. The theory even says the divine masculine often fits the spoiled-child archetype. And narcissists have picked up the concept too: they misuse it to keep you emotionally attached. If the person is in another relationship and simply keeps you around, that is not a twin flame. They are draining your energy.
The risk with all this literature is that you stay in very toxic relationships for a very long time and retraumatize yourself more severely than you were traumatized in childhood. I wrote about the imbalance in which you give everything and the other person only takes in the article on toxic relationships and the imbalance between giving and receiving.
So I tell you clearly:
- Do not wait for the other person to change. If they do not work on themselves, they do not change. Both sides need to work.
- Stop waiting for them to return. When you wait, you send the energy of waiting into the Universe.
- Do not give them years of your life. A specialist told me about a client who waited ten years for someone. Ten years of her life, given emotionally.
If you recognize yourself in a relationship where you are humiliated, controlled, or manipulated, or cannot break away from obsessive thoughts, seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. When I realized I had problems with narcissists, I looked for the best psychologist I could find. And if there is violence or threats, call 112. No spiritual theory justifies abuse.
I want the complete narcissism release practices →
What is real: the mirror and the lesson about yourself
When I told my psychologist about my twin flame, she said: ‘Leave this nonsense behind. You are your own twin flame.’ I was upset at the time — I knew what I was experiencing. But eventually I reached the same conclusion. After so much work on myself, I feel whole. I no longer seek half my soul outside myself.
What remains true from the whole story is the mirror. When something about the other person bothers you intensely, it is something that is in you too: either you do it elsewhere as well, or it is completely unconscious. That relationship made me constantly ask myself: ‘I see this in him. Where am I like this too?’
The themes that emerge most often for the divine feminine are:
- ‘I do not love myself.’ Chasing comes from not loving yourself. I came from a family with a narcissistic parent and truly did not love myself.
- The abandonment and rejection wound. You feel abandoned and feel you have no worth.
- Self-confidence.
- Manifestation. When you push and push — ‘I want, I want, I want’ — all that energy actually pushes away what you want. You need to let it come.
And something else: when you chase someone, you give them all your energy. You are a beggar for love — and when you beg for love, you do not receive love. You have given away your power. Attention is energy. And know that the romance in films, with ‘wait for him to come and save you’, is one of the lowest forms of love: it programs you to give your power to others.
How to stop chasing
It took an enormous amount of work to leave that cycle. Here is what helped me:
- Stop chasing. At one point I told myself: ‘If this is the same soul, I will take care of my piece and stop chasing other pieces.’ This helped me enormously.
- Prioritize yourself. Chasing others is an enormous waste of time. Nobody is coming to save you.
- Work with the inner child. There are no twin flames without inner-child work. If you are in this story, you certainly had a thorny childhood and did not receive unconditional love. If you want structured work, I have the inner-child healing video course, with meditations and exercises.
- Rein in your mind. I was — and am — very mentally oriented, with a mind like a Ferrari. The more I thought about him, the worse it became. The only thing that truly calmed me was spirituality: it gave my mind something equally interesting to work on.
- Anchor yourself in your body and the present. I did yoga, went into nature, and exercised. The aim was not to lose weight, but to anchor myself here. If I were starting again, I would do even more grounding: I rose very high very quickly.
- Work on family wounds. That was when I began doing family constellations, first as a participant, to find myself again.
- Surrender. Leave it to God. What needs to come will come.
A few affirmations I have worked on in livestreams fit perfectly here — say them aloud:
- ‘I matter. My needs matter.’
- ‘I choose myself.’
- ‘I accept that I have needs and that my needs matter.’
For the detachment part, I also leave you the 7 practical exercises for emotionally detaching from a former partner. And if you feel we need to work together, you can book an individual session with me — release practices and constellations.
I want to break ties with former partners →
What the twin flame ultimately gave me
There was a great deal of suffering. I have photos of myself crying, and they are horrifying. But that suffering opened many of my gifts, because light enters through the crack. That relationship triggered my spiritual awakening. When it ended and I reached a place of balance, I thanked him.
When I closed that chapter for good, I began to blossom. Because when you chase someone, you give them all your energy and no longer manifest anything for yourself. What I learned: to prioritize myself, maintain my values, and recognize that happiness is my baseline state — you smile and are happy without necessarily having a reason.
Listen to the whole twin flame livestream
If you want the full story, including the community’s questions, play the livestream below:
Frequently asked questions about twin flames
What is a twin flame?
Twin flame is the theory that a soul split in two and its two halves incarnate and find each other on Earth, usually in their last life. The relationship is extremely intense: the other person mirrors everything you have not worked on in yourself.
What is the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame?
A soulmate is another soul from your soul family, and the relationship is usually harmonious. According to the theory, a twin flame would be the same soul, and the relationship amplifies everything: love, trauma, and drama. Karmic relationships are those in which you settle debts from other lives.
What are the stages of a twin flame?
Recognition and infinite love, testing and arguments, running and chasing (one runs, the other chases), separation with a search for answers, and finally surrender — you leave it to God and take care of yourself.
How do I know whether it is a false twin flame?
If the other person does not work on themselves, keeps you around without commitment, is in another relationship, or constantly hurts you, it is most likely a karmic or narcissistic relationship disguised as a twin flame. Do not stay there in the name of a theory. If there is abuse, seek help from a psychologist; if there is violence, call 112.
Should I wait for my twin flame to return?
No. When you wait, you send the energy of waiting into the Universe and give away your power. Take care of your own piece: your inner child, self-confidence, and life. What needs to come will come.
Do twin flames really exist?
I experienced something I cannot deny. But I reached the conclusion that you are your own twin flame. True twin flames are rare, and the concept is often used as an excuse for toxic relationships.
Stop looking for your other half in someone else. Take care of yourself — that is where the love you seek lies. Sending you a kiss, and I look forward to seeing you at the next livestream.
