You read the same message five times, to see what he meant. You panic when he does not answer for an hour. You need to hear again and again that you are loved, and when the partner asks for a little space, you feel the ground collapsing. Your relationship seems to always sit on a knife's edge.
If you recognize yourself here, you are not "too much" and nothing in you is broken. These are patterns associated with anxious attachment, and they can be worked on. For them I wrote Anxious Attachment – Unbindings for the fear of abandonment, rejection and losing love, the first book in my series dedicated to attachment patterns.
Below I tell you what you find in the book, who it is for, how you work with it and the livestreams that prepare you.
I want the Anxious Attachment book (PDF) →
What anxious attachment is, as I see it
In the readings from livestreams, the fear of abandonment came out perhaps most often of all: "may he not leave me", "may I not remain alone", "I will do anything not to be alone". And underneath, almost every time, was an old wound: a love received with conditions, an unavailable parent, a child who learned he had to fight to be seen.
When you carry this wound, you end up confusing love with anxiety. You lose yourself so as not to lose the other, and sometimes you even end up buying love: you give more, you pay more, you do more. And those with the abandonment wound abandon, very often, themselves first.
Signs you carry anxious attachment patterns
- the fear of abandonment and rejection;
- the permanent need for reassurance and validation;
- you overanalyze messages, tone and silences;
- you panic when the partner needs space;
- you lose yourself and find it hard to set boundaries;
- emotionally unavailable people attract you;
- jealousy, control and the need for certainty consume your energy.
What you find in the book
The work includes 47 patterns associated with anxious attachment and proposes a spiritual process of unbinding and reflection, oriented toward inner safety, healthy boundaries and reconnection with your own worth. You work on:
- the fear of abandonment and rejection;
- the need for reassurance and validation;
- hypervigilance and overanalysis;
- panic at the other's distance;
- losing yourself and the lack of boundaries;
- the confusion between love and anxiety;
- the attraction to emotionally unavailable people;
- jealousy, control and the need for certainty;
- the relational wounds of childhood and family patterns;
- beliefs like "I must fight for love" or "my worth depends on being chosen".
What you receive: a digital PDF book, which you receive on WhatsApp, at €7.
How you work with it
- Take the patterns one by one. Read them and stop at the ones you recognize yourself in. You do not have to do all 47 in one evening.
- Speak the unbindings out loud, slowly, with your eyes closed, and let yourself feel what moves in the body.
- Go down to the source. When a pattern catches you strongly, ask yourself: where did I learn it? From the mother, from the father, from home? The river is cleaned at its spring, not in the delta.
- Put it into practice. After the unbinding, choose one small gesture: you no longer send the third message, you state your need clearly, you take time for yourself.
If anxiety affects your sleep, work or daily life, or if your relationship includes control, threats or violence, seek the support of a psychologist or psychotherapist and, when needed, of specialized services (in case of danger, 112). The unbindings do not replace specialized help.
The livestreams that prepare you
Toxic relationships: why are you the other person's ATM?
In this livestream I did readings for the question "why do I give more than I receive in relationships?". Among the programs that came out: "I don't deserve", conditional love and the fear of abandonment that you compensate by bringing more, so as not to be left.
All the readings are explained in the complete article about the toxic relationship and the imbalance of giving and receiving.
Your fears – Mini Family Constellations, part 2
Here the fear of not being loved and the fear of abandonment came out again and again. The answer was the same every time: self-love and your inner child. The problem is from you toward you.
Mini Constellations – My greatest wound
When I set the theme "my greatest wound, the one I do not know", abandonment came out almost all the time: the child in the field who sits down and waits for someone to come take him. It is exactly the wound beneath anxious attachment.
Who the book is for
For you, if you lose yourself in relationships, constantly seek the other's confirmation or live love together with a strong fear of abandonment and rejection. And if you recognize yourself in the "I chase, he runs" dynamic, also read the paired book, Avoidant Attachment, to understand the other side of the circle too.
Frequently asked questions
Is the book only for women?
No. I write in the feminine because I address mostly women, but anxious attachment patterns appear in anyone.
I am single right now. Is it useful to me?
Yes. The patterns do not disappear when you are not in a relationship; they just stay hidden. It is actually a good moment to work on them before the next relationship.
How do I receive the book?
It is a digital PDF you receive on WhatsApp, at €7. For questions, use the contact page.
Does it replace therapy?
No. It is a spiritual process of unbinding and reflection. If the anxiety is high, work in parallel with a psychologist or psychotherapist.
The safety you seek is in you
You do not have to fight for love, and your worth does not depend on being chosen. When you start being safe for yourself, you no longer need to read every silence as a verdict. A big hug, and I will see you live.
Order Anxious Attachment (PDF, €7) →
Anxious attachment: a clear request instead of checking
Anxious attachment is a theme used to describe the fear of losing closeness and the frequent need for reassurance. It is not a label that defines your worth. You can notice your reactions and you can formulate more clearly what you need.
When a delayed message becomes a story about you
The fact is you have not yet received an answer. The interpretation can be that you no longer matter. Before sending many messages, separate the two. You have the right to ask for predictability and clarity, and the other has the right to their own rhythm. The book explores the passage from the fear of abandonment to inner safety through personal working formulations.
An exercise you can adapt
Write the fact, the emotion and the request. For example: I do not know when we will talk; I feel uneasy; can we set a time? Choose an activity you can do in the meantime. Then notice the real answer and whether the relationship can sustain reciprocal communication.
Choose the right support for your theme
The Anxious Attachment PDF offers you a written thread for reflection, boundaries and the relationship with yourself. You can consult it alongside psychological support, if the reactions affect your life.
See Anxious Attachment – Unbindings for the fear of abandonment, rejection and losing love and buy from the site. Read the product content and conditions before choosing.
Frequently asked question
Do I have to manage without reassurance? No. You can ask for support, following a clear request and a relationship in which responsibility is shared.
Continue at your own pace
Choose a single theme you can look at today. A written support lets you return to it without searching for a new starting point each time. Explore the unbindings library and the meditation guide for other resources. Spiritual practices are forms of personal reflection; they do not replace the medical, psychological or legal help you need.
