After so many livestreams about releasing spiritual bindings, I felt it was time for one about forgiveness. Because you can send back every spell in the world and still carry a weight inside you. Releasing bindings removes from your field what has been done to you. Forgiveness works on something else: what you have done—to others and to yourself. And here, before anything else, you need to forgive yourself and take responsibility for what you have done. Let us be clear from the start, without drama: we have all done all sorts of things, across all our lives—I am no better in that respect either.
There is an old saying that is very true: refusing to forgive is like taking poison for years, hoping the other person will die. Forgiveness is not an act of sainthood you perform for others. It is a release you give yourself. Below you will find everything: what forgiveness really is, why you forgive yourself first, how to forgive your parents and family lineage, how it combines with releasing bindings, and the forgiveness prayer from my livestreams—the complete phrases to take home.
What forgiveness really is (beyond ‘you must forgive’)
You have heard it all your life: ‘Forgive them, that is it, move on.’ I do not believe in forgiveness on command. Forgiveness spoken simply because it is expected, with unprocessed trauma underneath, does not work: it is a beautiful lie told to the soul. In English, this is called spiritual leapfrog—you leap like a frog over all the work, straight to forgiveness. The greatest risk of skipping ahead like that? Depression.
Forgiveness is an organic process with its own stages. Do not skip them:
- Become aware of the suffering. Acknowledge the pain caused by injustice. Do not hide it or wrap it in ‘it is nothing, it is over.’
- Accept the emotions connected with it. Anger, sadness, disappointment, a sense of betrayal. Do not dissociate or close your heart. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment.
- Let go of bitterness and resentment. Relive them, feel them again, and let them go. Emotions are energies that want to move.
- Only now does forgiveness come. The fourth stage, not the first.
Forgiveness normally comes with tears. As with mourning: until you have cried enough over a loss, you have not finished grieving it. Crying releases blocked energy—do not deny yourself that.
A difficult but liberating truth: forgiving does not mean justifying or denying what was done to you. Nor does it mean casting yourself as a victim. It means accepting yourself both as the victim of what happened and as responsible for the lesson. Your soul planned its lessons, and no suffering chosen by the soul comes without a cost.
Why you forgive yourself first
Forgiveness is about you alone: you cannot forgive others without first forgiving yourself.
So you start with yourself. Connect with your soul—the connection with the soul is made through the heart—and say the four phrases I love most, from the Hawaiian practice of ho'oponopono: ‘I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.’ At first it will feel strange to say them to yourself. Do it anyway: each phrase has its purpose—acknowledging suffering, sincerely asking for forgiveness, and unconditional love that dissolves emotional barriers.
And something I have seen while working with people: we connect vibrationally with those who have the same traumas. If you do not work on yourself, you see the same lesson parade through your life under a different name—former partners who resemble one another and reflect your childhood wounds. Unresolved trauma marries you to itself. I have written separately about how to detach emotionally from a former partner.
Being a victim is a stage, not a permanent address. It is normal to feel angry and want revenge—the important thing is not to act on it and, above all, not to heap shame on yourself (‘I was such a fool’). You did not deserve any of it: you are the person who stayed there, and that is precisely the person you are forgiving now.
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Forgiving your parents and family lineage
This is where we work through the hardest chapters, and the most precious ones. We repeat our first seven years of life throughout our lives. Within the same family, each child takes away a different trauma—but even if our parents push us, we are the ones who choose what we take on.
Many problems arise because we do not give ourselves the right to live our own lives. Out of blind love, wanting to save our parents, we take their pain upon ourselves and live their lives instead of our own. I understood this through a childhood incident in which I was unfairly hit: my question was not ‘Why did they hit me?’ but ‘Why did I not leave?’ Because I had chosen to save them, to take the other person's pain upon myself. We all do this.
So forgive your parents. And forgive yourself for what you took on from them. Then look at your family lineage: both energies and karma are inherited within it—the people in your family are those with whom you have lessons to fulfil. And some of what we carry was not done to us by anyone: it is our own karma. In people I have worked with, I have found not spells but serious deeds from past lives, now calling for forgiveness and repentance. For karma that is being burned away, I also say the violet flame phrase: ‘I ask the violet flame to come and cleanse my karma.’
And here is a sign to know about: during periods of release, wounds around belonging and family wounds become active. If you are more tearful these days, nothing in you is broken. It is the work reaching home, into your family lineage.
The forgiveness prayer: step-by-step wording
Everything I say in the forgiveness livestream, I give you here too. When working on forgiveness, the preparation is a little different from releasing bindings: light a white candle. I sit, as usual, on my salt cushion. Close your eyes, speak aloud, and, as when releasing bindings, push the energy: let yourself feel where it sits in your body and draw it out.
1. The call to repentance
The framework repeated with each phrase:
‘I ask forgiveness for [the sins I have committed], consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally, in this life and in all lives, times and spaces, and beyond them.’
And what you do not know, leave to God: you have free will over your thoughts, but you ask forgiveness for everything and let Him decide which things apply. From the livestream, just as I say them, here are the chapters—take them one at a time, at your own pace:
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all the thoughts, words and deeds through which I have hurt myself or others.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all the fears, attachments and limitations I have created or sustained.’ (Fear is a lack of trust in God, and the ego is fed by fear.)
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all the harmful influences I have willingly accepted.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all the lies I have told.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all thefts and things I have taken unjustly.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all envy and jealousy.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all my greed and stinginess.’ (Living in fear and scarcity means denying God.)
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all my manipulation and dependencies, and for forms of consumption that are not in harmony with my soul.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness from all beings upon whom I have inflicted any form of violence, abuse, exploitation, manipulation, injustice or lack of love.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness from all the people I have deprived of love, respect, truth, justice, freedom, peace or dignity.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all the times I have turned away from God.’
- ‘I ask forgiveness for all the ways in which I have hidden or buried the gifts I received from God.’ (The gift given to you is yours. Stop burying it.)
- ‘I ask forgiveness from all my victims, across all times, lives and dimensions.’
2. I forgive myself
The most important point of the prayer: ‘I forgive myself.’ You cannot forgive others until you have forgiven yourself. Here you say ho'oponopono to yourself—‘I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you’—until something inside you softens.
3. Work within the energy body
It is not just a phrase. Draw light through your crown chakra and release it through all your chakras and every pore of your skin, together with the old energies. If you feel pressure or heaviness in your head, speak directly to your mind: ‘Dear mind, please release.’ I explain the chakra system in more detail in the guide to blocked chakras; on the third eye I use MUSC essential oil.
4. Forgiveness meditation: soul, inner child, heart, yourself
Then bring your awareness down into your heart and visit the four parts of yourself, using the same four phrases: your soul (perhaps this is the first time you have connected with it), your inner child (embrace them; perhaps this is the first time you have asked them for forgiveness), your heart (it carried what it could not bear; closing it helped you survive—thank it) and, finally, yourself as a whole. At the end, you receive your gifts: these parts of you did not suffer for nothing. The meditation ends in joy, not tears—the tears are just part of the journey.
You will find all the chapters of forgiveness, with explanations and in the order in which I work through them, in the PDF guide to forgiveness and repentance. Return to them from time to time: forgiveness is worked through in layers, and each time it is a different layer.
Forgiveness and releasing bindings: how they combine
Releasing bindings and forgiveness go hand in hand. Releasing bindings sends back what is not yours: spells, charms, bindings, energies placed there by others—I have written about their signs in the article on what you dream when someone has cast spells on you. Forgiveness means taking responsibility for your part: what you did, what you willingly accepted. If you only send things back without forgiving, your part still remains in your field and keeps pulling at you. If you only forgive without releasing bindings, other people's energy still has something to attach to.
In my livestreams, I follow this order: first releasing bindings, which removes what has been done to you, then forgiveness, which works on your part. Both call for the same thing: pushing the energy, feeling where it is, and removing what is no longer yours. Everything I use for releasing bindings—salt, oils, the working protocol—you will find in the collection for releasing spiritual bindings.
View the collection for releasing spiritual bindings →
Signs that forgiveness has ‘taken hold’
How do you know you have not just paid lip service to forgiveness? Through your body and your life:
- Warmth in the body. When working on forgiveness, unlike releasing bindings, I feel warmth settling in—a sign that something good is being activated. Tears, sighing (sighs come from the soul), yawning, burping: all good, all signs of release. Drowsiness means there is a lot to cleanse.
- Stillness. Peace settles over you. The mind becomes quiet and you regain a sense of safety: you settle into your own centre.
- You become an observer. The story that once tore you apart, when relived now, hurts less. And the person who keeps treating you badly no longer sets you off: you react less and less, and instead of anger, compassion grows within you.
- You stop lying to yourself. If you say ‘That is it, I have forgiven’ but have not processed the trauma, your body knows. False forgiveness does not last. I have been working on myself for years, nonstop, and I still have not reached every chapter of forgiveness—and that is all right.
And if you cannot open up the main wound on your own, seek an outside mirror: therapy, psychoanalysis, tapping—for me, tapping brought out what talking could not. Invest in yourself: it is the investment with the greatest return.
I work through the prayers with the complete guide →
Work on forgiveness with me, live
Sit on the salt, light the white candle and press play. Repeat the phrases aloud at your own pace, and let your body do the work.
For the stages of forgiveness and the Hawaiian meditation (soul, inner child, heart), also watch the livestream about forgiveness.
Frequently asked questions about forgiveness
How do I forgive myself?
Start simply: hand on your chest, connect with your heart, and say the four phrases to yourself: ‘I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.’ Then ‘I forgive myself’—and only then the prayer of repentance for what you have done to yourself. Do not skip acknowledging the pain: first see the wound, then forgive it.
What is the forgiveness prayer?
The one I say in my livestreams: ‘I ask forgiveness for all the sins I have committed, consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally, in this life and in all lives, times and spaces, and beyond them’—then, chapter by chapter, address each topic in the list above. The forgiveness prayer and releasing bindings complement each other: first you send back what has been done to you, then you take responsibility for and forgive your part.
How often should I work on forgiveness?
As often as you feel you need to. Each time, you work on a different layer—you change between sessions. I have been returning to them for years and still find new chapters.
Do I have to reconcile with the person I have forgiven?
No. Reconciliation is optional. Forgiveness is something you give yourself; reconciliation takes two people who both want it. With someone who does not change, there is nothing left to repair—reheated coffee is not good to drink. You give yourself closure: understand what happened, understand yourself, and close the door yourself.
Why can I not forgive, even though I want to?
Because you have not yet processed what happened. An ostrich putting its head in the sand has not solved anything—it simply cannot see it any more. Go through the stages: acknowledge the pain, feel the emotions, cry if you need to, then forgive. And if the wound is deep, see a therapist. That is not weakness; it is courage.
Does forgiveness mean forgetting or justifying?
No. You do not deny, justify or overlook. You forgive from the position of someone who has taken the lesson and its gift. The sign that it is real: you no longer react—you observe.
Forgive it, release it and make room for joy—in my practice, forgiveness meditation always ends in joy. If you have read this far, something inside you is already ready. Sending you a kiss, and I look forward to seeing you at the next livestream.
